


The Touch of Family

by OreoCookie



Series: Shed Some Tears for a Bro [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody gets a piece of Lance, Everyone gets angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Homesick PIdge, Important Conversations, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Latitudes of feels, Multi, Sad Keith (Voltron), Shed some tears for a Bro, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OreoCookie/pseuds/OreoCookie
Summary: "I'm sorry!"Lance all but shouted the words, causing the smaller girl to flinch but he was already moving. Stumbling.  His vision blurred with tears as he was turning away from her, escaping, his tone begging, "I'm sorry, Pidge, I'm so sorry. Please forget that this ever happened, please!"And then, he was running from the room, struggling to muffle the sobs that were wracking his chest but failed.He left her in silence. Only, the silence wasn't so silent.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't believe in Langst but have some langst.  
> Langst for the soul.  
> 

His eyelids drooped to the sound of her non-stop tapping, the constant typing of computer keys.

Before, this sound used to drive him up the walls, he couldn't stand it. It was even so bad that he'd have to leave the room but now... Lance had come to tolerate it. He'd come to withstand it. Now, it was a constant reminder of the company he shared. He couldn't go on without it, he needed it.

A soft grunt left him as he nuzzled deeper into Pidge's stomach, causing the tapping of keys to stutter and pause, when he settled they quickly resumed. He hummed, feeling a faint bout of satisfaction and content with being with her. This wasn't the first time he'd cuddled up to Pidge whilst she was in the midst of one of her projects.

The first time he had approached the girl, the little gremlin had straight up snarled and hissed at him. He backed off but over time, he'd come back and pester and pester until finally, she let him stay but he couldn't touch her. Yet. Lance had learned from the get-go that Pidge was not a touchy person but indeed, he changed that too and had managed to successfully upgrade from sneakingly peeking over her shoulder to full out dozing in her lap.

Talk about character development. (insert wink here)

He smiled lazily, his eyelids fully closing now as the tapping faded into the background and he welcomed darkness as he listened to the soft, rumbling gurgles of her stomach and the smoothing, rhythmic thumping of her heart. Sleep came easily.

Such a feat to accomplish.

Ariesa caressed his face, Lance hummed shifting slightly. Small, warm fingers lingered over his cheek down to his chin and then back up again. He shuddered, a soft groan coming from him as they drifted over his eyebrows then down, past his eyes and rested above his cheek bone.

"Ariesa..." The name fell so easily from his mouth as he gently took the hand that was stroking his face and brought it to his lips, "Ariesa..." He mumbled her name once more, his eyes opening to slits as he took in the girl above him. She was staring down at him with wide eyes, her face small and petite. He smiled up dreamily at her and then, his breath hitched as a sudden pain bloomed behind his ribs and tears immediately welled up in his eyes. A sense of loss overwhelming him.

He reached up with his other free hand and caressed the side of her face as he let the tears fall.

"Ariesa... I miss you... I miss you so much," The girl's breath hitched and a tremble ran through her body, he frowned slightly. Why wasn't she saying anything, usually his head was filled with her constant chatter but this silence was new. And it was horrifying.

He then gasped, his grip on her hand becoming tighter as he struggled to wake himself up, to clear his mind, "Why are you here?"

He was in space, so why was his sister here, cradling him and stroking his face? Why wasn't she saying anything? Why did she look so different and so scared, "You shouldn't be here," She shook her head at him, her eyes getting wider, he faintly registered that it was becoming harder to breath, "No, no, you should be at home, you should be with mama, dios, why are you here?"

Was that his voice? Why did he sound so broken, so sad?

"You shouldn't be with me, we're in space," He shook his head, feeling more tears slip from his eyes and the trembling increased, was it him or was it her? He didn't know, all he knew was that she wasn't supposed to be there.

"Lance..."

He gasped as she said his name, why was her voice different? Why did she sound so scared? Why did she feel so tense? He shook his head again, shushing her, "No, no, Ariesa... Ariesa go home, go home..." He kissed the hand at his lips, lightly pecking the knuckles and the tips, he caressed her creases with his fingers, hoping that she'd feel his urgency and desperation, "Space is cold, it is empty, there are things out here... please go home, you shouldn't be here." Distantly, he heard someone sobbing, the sounds were soft but choked and raw. It wasn't Ariesa, so who was it? The girl in question only looked at him terrified, frozen and now that he looked at her, she looked different.

"Ariesa?"

The girl above him didn't have dark, rich curls falling over her shoulders. Her skin wasn't a rich shade of brown like his and the thing that usually stood out the most about her, this girl didn't have. He stared up into her face expecting to find one sea blue eye, like his and the other, a warm deep chocolate but why didn't she have it? Ariesa had heterochromia and there was no way to get rid of it unless by wearing contacts and she hated those. So why did this girl have two very light eyes and pale skin, layered with freckles, her hair cut short. His frown deepened, this girl was not his sister.

Pidge.

He scrambled out of her lap, almost whacking his forehead into her jaw in his haste. He scuttled away from her on all fours, putting a distance of five feet between them before collapsing as he stared at her wide eyed. He could see the clockwork in her brain, calculating and processing what had just happened, her brown eyes going even wider as she stared at him and her hands still positioned as though she were still cradling his head, trembling. A silence stretched between them as their eyes held, too terrified and exposed.

Vulnerable.

Uncomfortable.

Pidge's lips quivered and then she was slowly opening her mouth but whatever she was going say, Lance got there first.

"I'm sorry!"

Lance all but shouted the words, causing the smaller girl to flinch but he was already moving. Stumbling. His vision blurred with tears as he was turning away from her, escaping, his tone begging, "I'm sorry, Pidge, I'm so sorry. Please forget that this ever happened, please!"

And then, he was running from the room, struggling to muffle the sobs that were wracking his chest but failed.

He left her in silence. Only, the silence wasn't so silent.

Pidge curled into herself as she could still hear his voice pleading and begging for her to go home. He sounded so broken, so pained; she had never heard him like that before. She remembered the way his eyes looked into her, seeing but unseeing.

Where were these new emotions coming from? How did the jokester, the player, the happy go lucky Lance hide those feelings inside? Were they even new? It hurt her just to think about that, how long did he have those feelings? A tear slipped from her eye at the thought. She clutched a fist to her chest as another tear joined the first and then, they were falling as they came right after the other. But she made no sound, she didn't even sob, she only felt numbness. A numbness that throbbed and stung, feeling as though a part of her had been scooped out. She had felt like that, when she had lost her father and her brother but was that what Lance was feeling?

No. His pain was different but how did he succeed? How did he hide it so well? She wiped at her eyes, feeling a slight envy towards the boy in the way he hid his pain. She couldn't do that even on a good day; furthermore smile when the loss of one's family hovered over them.

She grumbled, wiping at her tears but they never seemed to stop.

 

\-----

 

"Shiro!"

Keith yelped as he narrowly dodged the flying robot that the older, buffer male had hurled in his general direction.

"Come on, Keith," Shiro growled, "Get your head in the game."

Keith resisted the urge to snarl at him, only settling to glower until another robot gladiator was flying in his direction which he proceeded to spilt in half with his sword.

He wouldn't admit it but yes, he was distracted. He couldn't resist throwing another glance in Lance's direction, being careful to keep his face blank. He knew something was up with the paladin and if only, he knew what but he did know it had something to do with the way Pidge was avoiding him or rather, the way they were avoiding each other. He chanced a glance at Hunk, who was facing off his own gladiator and didn't miss the way that he too, was sending worried glances at both Lance and Pidge. He would ponder on it more but then-

"Dammit, Keith!"

"Gah!"

Another freakin' robot.

 

\-----

 

"Hunk! Big guy! I need to talk to you!"

Hunk raised a brow in mild curiosity in the way Keith called out to him. Big guy... he neither liked it nor hated it but he'd admit no one but Keith ever called him that. He smiled pleasantly as Keith ran to catch up with him, panting slightly, hair sticking to his forehead with a sheen of sweat or maybe, it was water considering that they'd just come from the showers.

He grinned at that, Shiro was rather hard on the guy today, "Sup Keith."

The smaller male sighed loudly, throwing his head back and exposing his throat as he did, "Have you seen the way Lance and Pidge were avoiding each other the past few days?"

Hunk stopped at that, his brown eyes widening before snapping his head to look at Keith, "Yes. Yes, I have."

Keith looked at him as though he'd never seen someone so align with him before, "It's-"

"Weird?" They said, questioned in unison.

Their eyes widen as they regarded each other, "Oh my god!"

Hunk turned, excitement bubbling in him as he scratched at his chin, "Darn, Galra Keith might have some good senses after all."

Keith smacked him.

"Where are you heading off to, anyway?" He questioned, falling in step alongside him. Hunk looked at him with the dullest expression he could muster and Keith was quickly ducking his head in embarrassment, "Right! Kitchen...Where else."

Hunk smirked at him, "Now you're getting it."

Keith groaned," Ugh! We're getting off track!"

"Let's finish this in the kitchen, only god knows whose listening through these walls," Hunk whispered with a shudder.

"Dude... the walls are soundproof?"

"They still have ears though."

"Dammit!"

 

\------

 

"Something happened between the two of them, man. I mean, did you see how off balance they were this morning? I've never seen Lance so quiet."

They were in the kitchen, Keith seated at the table eating his daily intake of green, space goop whereas Hunk was romping about the fridge-like unit looking for god knows what.

"I know, right. And he's only quiet like that when something really bad happens!"

Keith pondered for a moment, savouring his goop, not that there was anything to savour about the bland thing, "You don't- You don't think Lance... did something, do you?"

"Stop!" Hunk whirled on him, finger pointing, "Stop right there, mister! Lance would never do anything to hurt Pidge or anyone on this ship in whatever manner you're suggesting!"

Keith blanched, sinking in his seat, "Sor-Sorry man, shouldn't have said that," He ducked his head for even considering it.

"Right," Hunk was quick to agree then he paused, his expression becoming thoughtful, “But we can't keep going like this, whatever it is between them is disrupting the team dynamic. We're gonna have to talk to them sooner or later." He turned to Keith, "Who're you gonna corner?"

The boy in question shrugged, "I-I don't know... I don't really know both of them that well and -"

Hunk cut him off, "That's okay, buddy... Look, I'll take Lance since we've known each other since we were kids and you, Pidge. The two of you are actually quite similar."

Keith gaped at him, "What are you saying-" but then Hunk was gone, leaving him alone to battle his social awkwardness.

He sighed, defeated.

 

\----

 

Lance grunted, throwing another pillow at the wall to join the one that was already there. He watched it fly, connect then bounce on impact with the floor before slumping backwards on his bed with a sigh. Then he was yelling in frustration, arms and legs flailing like a flipped turtle before throwing both his arms over his face and slumping in embarrassment.

Secondhand embarrassment, maybe.

Red coated his cheeks as he remembered the way Pidge had looked at him that day. The way her eyes were so wide that they had bulged out of her skull, her face, so white and shocked. She was petrified, she hadn't moved throughout the entire altercation except to look at him.

And then, he was running away like a freakin' coward, crying like a baby simply because he couldn't handle it. Simply because he'd dreamt of his family, remembering the times when they were whole and no one was missing.

The embarrassment came flooding back, when he recalled the interaction between them the previous morning. He'd been talking to Hunk about something new that he could possibly use for a new recipe since they were supposed to stopping at a nearby planet soon and then Pidge had entered. He hadn't noticed her at first but when he did, he felt himself pale, his speech becoming chopped and stuttered until he quieted as they both stared at each other.

Her face had gone white and the look on her face was like no other that Lance had seen on her before. Before he could decipher it, the green gremlin was already backtracking, fleeing the room. He'd thought to go after her but her face... that expression. He couldn't do that and he knew that if he found out the reason for it, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

Then he gaped, his blue eyes widening as a horrifying thought crossed his mind. What if she though he was pathetic? Weak because he had unintentionally showed her that side of him. That side that he'd kept hidden so well, for so long. It hurt him just to think about it but he knew what caused it. He was always a reserved person but he liked the feeling of smiling, making others laugh and pay attention to him even if it were to annoyed them. He liked people around him because then, he could pay attention to them and not himself. That was one of the prime reasons he missed his family so badly. His mother and his twin sisters were the only one who knew about it, whatever the fuck it was that burdened him.

This sadness.

This horrible, horrible sadness that only told him bad things. Before he could stop it, a tear was sliding down his face as he settled in the blankets, welcoming their warm cocoon embrace.

"Ariesa..." Another tear slipped away, he'd never see her again. Not because he thought that he'd never go home but because she, herself was missing. Why did he dream about her? Why was he so out of it that he thought she was Pidge?

The door to his room slid open, "Lance?"

Damn, he should have locked it.

It was Hunk. Lance huddled deeper in the blankets, hiding from the bigger male. He'd never showed this side of him to Hunk, of course he'd showed him sadness and loss but he never... saw this... vulnerability. This wounded soldier that pretended to smile and say that everything was okay.

"Lance?" Hunk squinted in the darkness of the room but he could make out the bunched up blankets at the head of the bed, subtly burrowing further into the far corner, "Come on, buddy, talk to me."

He approached the bundle, touching it gently. He could feel Lance's form underneath but the boy said nothing and did nothing. Only silence and the sounds of his breathing spoke to him and Hunk knew immediately what he had to do. If the Lance didn't want to talk then that was fine but Hunk knew that Lance was a sucker for touches and even more so, cuddling. He lifted the lanky male, hearing him squawk in both surprise and horror, along with his bundle of blankets before lying down in the bed and cradling Lance to his chest.

Blue eyes peeked out at him from the darkness of their cove.

Hunk smiled, seeing them peeking at him, "It’s okay, buddy, I've got you." and the blue eyes closed, burrowing further into the blankets but not without letting Hunk see his tears. He clutched the male tighter to his chest, letting him know that he wasn't alone.

 

\-------

 

"Pidge?"

The paladin looked up at the tentative call of her name, her brows already furrowing as she laid eyes on her caller, "Keith?"

"Pidge." The male approached and stood awkwardly by her side, peering down at the coding that she was obviously preparing for one of her many projects. The young girl watched him heave a breath, fidgeting as he balanced on the balls of his feet and then his heels, clearing his throat. Pidge quirked a brow at him. This wasn't the first time that Keith had approached her, curious about the projects that she'd been working on. Apparently since he was a fighter pilot, he had only gone through a bit of engineering which had only consisted of the basics which now he was missing and struggling to learn.

But here he was, fumbling as he stood by her, obviously nervous about something. Clearly, he had something to say.

"Keith, whatever it is, just spill."

He jolted at the sound of her voice, eyes snapping up as he gave a small gasp, "Lance."

Instantly, she scowled at him and moved to pack her gear.

"No Pidge, wait!"

"No!" She whirled on him, finger pointing at his face, "What's going on between me and Lance is none of your concern. None!"

Keith moved to block her from leaving, his eyes wide and his movements frantic. Her scowl deepened, there was no way that she was going to tell him about what happened between her and Lance and it wasn't because she was freaked out but it was out of respect for Lance. Because all in all, even she didn't understand her own feelings about the situation, furthermore talk about it. And that was the fucking trench in her path, just how the hell was she going to talk about it? Simply go up to Lance and say some shit like, 'Oh, I saw you cry and stuff, uh, you wanna talk?'

No!

She had enough knowledge to know that he needed space, that he needed time to gather his wits and just maybe, they could play it off like a bad joke. She mentally smacked herself, that was bullshit and she knew it. This was Lance's problem and she had no right to talk about it.

She tiredly, adjusted her glasses as Keith attempted to border her in, his stubbornness and determination kicking in full-time, "Look...Keith?"

Thick brows quirked in unison at her as he 'mhm?' in acknowledgement.

"I'm tired, okay. I don't- I can't talk about it okay, it wasn't bad nor it wasn't good. It was just different y'know and ... And I think it would be best to give it a rest for a while. Things will go back to normal, I promised." She dodged around him, taking the slip in his judgement and walked away.

He wasn't surprised when she didn't look back. He knew her well enough to know her antics of evasion when he saw them and he'd be damned if to let this blow over.

 

\-----

 

"May day, may day, come in Hunk."

They were in the middle of their daily practice of flying their lions, this time the team were tackling how to maneuver in formation whilst moving through an asteroid field and it was painfully noticeable that Blue and Green were strangely quiet and lacking in performance.

"Hunk here, what's up Keith?" Hunk grunted into the comms when he managed a strained barrel roll to avoid an asteroid, only to yelp when he almost collided with another.

"'Mission talk to Pidge about Lance' was a failure, the little monster got away from me." Came Keith's reply. The young man had no problem tackling the field; he and Red were like water, slipping through the cracks with expert agility.

Hunk sighed, notably miserable as he attempted to pay attention to both the conversation and the field as he struggled his way through. After finding himself in a clear spot, he grunted a reply, "Sames, Lance let me get close but he won't talk to me, man. Whatever happened between them had to be really bad considering that Lance was crying when I found him."

Three things happened at once.

There was a sharp gasp and then an unintelligent sputter of a rambled reply that sounded like either Keith or Lance, Hunk wasn't sure and then the emphasized clearing of a throat. Hunk stilled, feeling himself blanched.

"Did you think you were on a private line?" Pidge's voice came through the comms, cold and clearly pissed, "We can hear you, y'know."

"Oh quiznack."

"Language!" Shiro's voice came through the comms, confident and strong and boy; something had ticked him off, "Okay guys, since it is clear that you can't pay attention to the task at hand considering that your life might depend on it, come whatever may. This session is over. Everyone head back to the castle. Meet in the lounge room stat."

Shiro knew something was up. He was no fool nor was he blind, he knew that something had occurred between Lance and Pidge and it was affecting the team's performance greatly. He had thought to leave it to them because they were all maturing adults, they could handle whatever spats occurred between them and had decided to give them time to resolve the issue but clearly, that was not enough. If they were both going to keep playing it off as though nothing happened then he was going to put a foot in.

Shiro sighed as he noticed; he was the first to enter the lounge room despite returning to the castle last. Pacing, he waited for the others to show. He knew Keith and Hunk would but it was unclear whether Lance or Pidge would come and if they didn't, he would simply have to look for them.

Looking up, he noticed Hunk entering with Lance. The two were huddled together seemingly in deep conversation but Shiro saw the way Lance avoided looking into Hunk's eyes as well as his quick glances away and the way his arms folded over his chest as though to form a shield about himself. He cleared his throat at the sight of them and gestured for them to take their seats.

Next, came a spat and a spew of curses, Shiro looked up gingerly to see Keith dragging Pidge, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. His face was red with exertion as he struggled to keep his hold on the smaller girl which proved to be quite a challenge, considering that she was squirming and biting with a ferocity that surprised him.

"No, Keith! Put me down, you don't understand! I told you-!"

"Pidge."

The duo stilled at the sound of his voice, Pidge going pale and limp in Keith's hold as Shiro gestured to one of the sofas. He didn't miss the quick glance that she sent in Lance's direction before pointing at the furthest seat away from the others and taking care not to meet anyone's eyes as Keith set her down.

"Okay," Shiro sat himself down, making sure that they could all see him, "What's the problem?" He raised his brows particularly at Lance, watching the boy wince and look away before turning to Pidge, who squirmed in discomfort. He then looked to Hunk and Keith, who stiffened at his attention before focusing on the other two. He sighed; he had to do this the hard way.

"Come on, guys...Please let us be open about this, we're a family, we only have each other. Don't let there be secrets between us, don't let there be disruptions in the balance that holds us together, come on." Shiro was becoming desperate now; he was use to prying information from his younger siblings but not like this. Not this way of guilt tripping and using pressure but goddamn, he needed it. He had to force it out, “Our lives are constantly at stake, whatever it is I'm sure we can get through toge-"

"It's my fault."

The man almost bit his tongue at the way Lance stood to his feet, back straight and face, stoic. "W-what?" Shiro stuttered, he hadn't expected this and a horrible feeling brewed within his stomach foretelling that he was not going to like the outcome of this situation at hand.

"It's my fault," Lance repeated, taking care to avoid everyone's eyes especially Shiro's because he always felt like the guy could see right through them and if he looked at Pidge, he knew that his exterior would crumble. "I'm sorry, everyone but this is my problem and I'm sorry that I let it escalate like this, so much that it would affect the team. I'm sorry Pidge that I made you feel uncomfortable, sorry Hunk-Keith, I made you guys worry." Shiro winced as he heard the waver in the boy's voice and his stoic expression fall slightly but he covered it with a nervous laugh, "It's really nothing, guys, it just-"

"Lance, no." Pidge stood to her feet, her brown eyes going wide as she reached for him but he danced out of reach.

"Nothing, it's really nothing, guys. Don't worry-"

Shiro stood to feet, seeing the boy edge towards the door, "Lance, wait-"

"It's really no biggy, just my problem, okay?"

"Lance!" Keith and Hunk were on their feet next but Lance was already running for the door. Out, down the hall, leaving an awkward silence in his wake.

"Argh!" They jumped at the enraged scream that came from Pidge and she turned on them with fury in her eyes, "Couldn't you give it a rest! I told you it was a difficult issue but you couldn't-" She barked at Keith and Hunk, making motions with her hands as though she wanted to strangle them before turning her eyes on Shiro, "And how could you!" The man in question, flinched, "You called him out like some misbehaving child! He is struggling right now! What made you think confrontation was a good idea! You don't get people to talk like that, like what the hell, man!"

She turned from them, following Lance's path and leaving them in stunned silence, no doubt going to confront Lance in her own way. Shiro visibly drew into himself, his usually pale face going grey as he nervously bit his lip and wondered whether he had made the right choice or not, leaving only one question in mind. Now what?

"Oh snap..." Hunk whispered, a tremble visible as he struggled to recover from what had just happened. He looked at Keith with wide eyes, who was currently watching Shiro with great concern, "She shouted at Shiro."

 

\----

 

"Lance... Lance... Can you hear me? I know you're in there."

Pidge paced in front of Lance's room, hoping that he'd opened the door for her before the others came barreling after her. Plus she wanted a one to one with him and it was about time, too. No more avoiding or awkward silences, it was about time she confronted the elephant in the room and dealt with the problem that everyone was dealing with and it was clear that Lance had the worst bout of it.

"Lance, please," She tried again, stopping her pacing and leaning her forehead on the door, "Please open up for me, I want- I want to talk to you, like I should have before. I shouldn't have let you walk away from me that one time, I was a coward. You were in pain and I... and I was so shocked, so scared, I didn't know what to do, Lance. So please, don't think that this is your fault, if anything it's mine, this is my fault. I shouldn't have let it get this far because-"

Pidge yelped as the door slid open, causing her to topple inside as it slid closed once more, "Lance!"

"Shut up, Pidge," The girl gasped she was swept into a pair of long arms pulling her close to a warm body as a face tucked itself into her neck.

"W-What?" She gaped trying to understand the situation as she was pulled into a warm embrace unto the floor.

"You're babbling, Pidge," Lance whispered, his voice light as he remained hidden in the curve of her throat and he shushed her before she could say anything else, "I know you're not good... with handling emotions, Pidge, yours or anyone else's for that matter. Isn't that why you prefer machines." The girl huffed before laughing softly and in turn, wrapped her arms around him.

"You got me there, pal. Yeah, I rather prefer my tech junk and robots but that doesn't mean that I don't like being around you or close to you guys," She leaned back and brought her hands to Lance's face so that she could see his face as she talked, "I was stupid-"

"Pidge."

"No-" She interjected quickly before he could say anything to throw her off, "Shut up, Lance. I was stupid; I was stupid to think that we could pretend that that never happened, that I never saw you cry... I was so stupid," Her breath hitched as she felt the tell-tale itch of tears welling in her eyes.

"Pidge." Lance whispered, hesitantly, almost fearful. He reached up, bringing his thumbs underneath her eyes, preparing to wipe away her tears, "You don't-"

"Yes, yes, I do,” She replied, "I have to make you understand. I was so afraid to talk to you because if I did then I would have to deal with the emotions that I feel. The ones that I have been burying since we first rode your lion into space." Her tears fell and she paused to take a deep breath as brown thumbs wiped them away, blue eyes becoming shiny, “I am homesick too... I miss my mom, Lance. I miss my dad, my brother, I miss my bed. The smell of my pillow- everything."

She paused, brown eyes snapping open to stare at Lance. Watching his face, memorizing every lash of his eyelids, the curve of his nose and lips, the small lines at the sides of his mouth from smiling too much, " I left my mom alone.... she's alone, Lance. Her only son and husband are already gone, lost somewhere in space, in this vast galaxy of stars and planets and I- I was so selfish, that I didn't think twice about getting into that lion with you to think about how she would feel, now knowing too, that her last remaining child is also gone. Not even leaving a note- just gone. And now, I’m stuck in space with guys and I can't even find what I came looking for and I miss them... so very much."

She mouthed softly to him and her voice is calm and expression blank but the tears that were streaming from her shining brown eyes, betrayed all her emotions as she watched his expression change. She watches as Lance's brow quivers and then he blinks his eyes hard, fighting back tears but failing. She watched them flow down the curves of his cheeks to the faint trembling of his mouth and chin, "It's okay for you to miss them, too."

He bursts into tears, wailing. It wasn't quick or sudden but slow and delicate. She stared in awe at his face, catching his every expression, committing them to memory. The way his brows pinched together before his eyes slammed shut, a feeble attempt to stop the tidal wave of tears and the way he heaved before his mouth fell open, revealing dull human teeth and a soft, pink tongue as he arched his head and bawled. She closed her eyes, drawing him back into the curve of her throat, committing his image to memory, "It's okay, I have you, you're not alone," She whispered, rubbing his back, "Let it out, let it all out, I'm here."

There was a knock on the door and a call; she didn't know who but it slid open anyway revealing Hunk, Keith and Shiro. They slid in hesitatingly, catching on the fragile moment in front of them being careful not to break it. They showed no surprise to Lance's quivering form, almost as though they'd been expecting it and Pidge narrowed her eyes at them.

"How long were you guys outside?"

Hunk ducked sheepishly before rubbing the side of his neck, "A while."

Pidge sighed, holding Lance closer. Keith, catching the drift, slotted himself into place around Pidge and Lance, his arms going around their shoulders. Then there Hunk, who came in from the other side, putting his arms around their waists and Shiro came in last, trying to hold them all as best as he could as Lance's crying quelled down.

They now knew what had been bothering the blue paladin, thanks to their unsavory eavesdropping and it wasn't something light and jolly that they could make light of but something cold and heavy, dense and impenetrably because they all feel it. It was in their bones, constantly at the backs of their minds but some days are worse than others and they understand that that's how it had been for Lance for a while. Keith and Hunk shared looks as they acknowledge this, giving small nods to each other as they feel equal bouts of embarrassment and shame at their prying behaviour. Even though, it was for the best, the way they went about it was uncalled for, they should have respected their privacy. They should have listened to Pidge and waited, Lance would have dealt with it himself in time but then maybe this was better. They got to actively help Lance now and find their rightful way of helping him.

Shiro sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as he held them all close to his bosom; he should've watched them closer. They were children and they were not children, they were all on the brink of adulthood, struggling to find their own way even as their minds adjusted to their situations. Being paladins of Voltron came after, but now they were children and they could formulate their own speeches of thought and he should be the one to guide them. He should have listened to his instincts and approached them, differently. The confrontation was a terrible mistake on his part and he felt a heaviness in his chest, right over his stomach as he thought of it. The expression on Lance's face as he ran from the room, so pained and scared then Pidge's, the girl who was intelligent even more so than him, he should have respected her more. He jolted slightly, eyes snapping open as a soft hand was placed on his flesh arm. Looking down, he saw Pidge looking at him, her eyes soft contrary to how they were before, soft, gone with their fury. He gave her a soft smile before holding them all closer.

The silence engulfed them save for Lance's occasional sniffles, then that too died down and they remained huddled together enjoying each other's warmth.

"Thanks guys," They perked up at the sound of Lance's voice, Shiro and Keith frowning slightly at the softness that accompanied it, so quiet and so sad, "Thank you so much, I shouldn't've ran away before and for that I'm sorry-"

Shiro was quick to shush him, "No!" Lance started slightly causing the entire group to jump before they turned to Shiro, eyes wide and watching. He flushed slightly at the attention before softly clearing his throat, "No... It's not your fault, Lance, it was mine. I shouldn't have confronted you like I did before and I'm sorry for trying to rush you to talk about your feelings and if you don't want to talk now, then that's okay too."

Blue eyes blinked up at him, wide with awe. He flushed even more before looking away and Lance chirped, the soft sound falling from his lips almost like laughter, "Oh my god, who are you and what have you done with Shiro!"

Shiro blanched before turning back, gaping, "Lance! This is serious!"

Lance laughed as the others wore soft smiles, "I know, I just wanted to make you feel better, knowing that you're probably thinking about how you've failed us and all that dramatic ish."

Shiro blanched even more, "How did- how?"

Lance smiled, leaning more into him, "Your face is like a book, it has a hard cover but it's easy to read." Shiro blushed right up to his ears but Lance was already intercepting him before he could even speak, "Don't apologize, Shiro. That's just how you are... How you were made, you're a good leader, Shiro, don't think for one second we don't believe in you."

"Yeah!" Keith came in, "You're amazing, you try really hard and I'm not saying that because I'm your friend."

He looked to the others and seeing their soft smiles, a tear welled up in his eye before he was gasping softly, his chest tightening with a warmth that he hadn't felt in a long time, "Guys."

The group shifted, surging forward as they in turn engulfed Shiro and Hunk tucked his face into the side of the man's neck, "We're with you." He whispered before he was turning to Lance and drawing the boy to him, placing him between his legs so that his back was to his chest, "And for you."

Lance smiled, bringing his hand closer as a soft blush dusted his brown skin, "I know." Then Keith was looking at him, indigo eyes staring intently as he cradled Pidge to his own chest, gently wiping away at her tears.

"What's up, Keith?" Lance drawled, enjoying the cuddle pile that they had dissolved into, their emotions and souls bare. The boy hesitated for a moment, looking away and then back. He bit his lip but then Shiro was taking his hand in his, cool metal curling his flesh skin and giving him a gentle squeeze. He gulped, looking back to Lance, his eyes bright with an internal fire, "What started this and I don't mean this," He gestured to the pile, "I mean what happened when you were with Pidge, what happened to cause that?"

Lance stiffened slightly, he didn't want to talk about it just yet but then again, he'd kept them waiting for heavens knew how long, especial Pidge. Goddammit Keith, he always got right to the point and Lance was hoping to distract them with Shiro. Sigh. He closed his eyes, tilting his head to the roof taking in a long breath before bringing it back down as he exhaled and looked right back at Keith, noticing that all attention was on him once more.

"I...I-" He curled into himself but faster than he could comprehend, the words getting caught in his throat and Pidge was gripping one of his hand in hers and Hunk was hugging him tighter. He sighed, it had to come out sooner or later and plus, he didn't have any more tears to shed, "I- I dreamt of home, of my family." He began.

Keith's eyes widened at the way Lance face seemed to change in this one sentence. A smile ghosted his lips, his eyes became dewy and warm, a sliver of envy pierced him but he pushed it down as Lance continued, his sadness and happiness evident.

"I was back in Cuba with them before I moved to the states to study at the Garrison and it was in Summer," A warmth bloom in Lance's chest like no other as he remembered the heat of the sun on his skin, a sense of bliss filled him and he relaxed onto Hunk, “My mother, my dad, everyone was there. It was a celebration, I don't remember what it was for though but it was amazing. The colours were so vivid, the sunset as the light faded on the ocean, the clothing, the sounds but then it all changed because as it got darker, it became colder and I realized that someone was in fact missing, after all."

Hunk tensed as he suddenly felt Lance go completely boneless against him, even his hands slid out of Pidge's holds and just dropped into his lap. Something was wrong but everyone waited as they watched him take a shuddering breath and then he wasn't looking at them anymore, he turned his face towards the roof, his eyes going glassy. Lance was wrong- he did in fact have more tears to shed but he didn't bawl like before- a lone tear slipped from his left eye.

"My entire family was there except one person... The one person I wanted to see again after so many years," Lance turned to Pidge and the girl stiffened at his attention, his blue eyes piercing into her,” And in you I saw her. I saw my sister again."

Hunk gasped, turning Lance's face to him, horror striking him at the empty look in those blue eyes, "You don't mean-!"

Lance nodded stiffly.

"Oh-oh my god..."

Keith and Pidge frowned and Shiro shifted slightly. Their positions changed, though Pidge remained draped against Keith, Lance was cuddled into Shiro's lap, his head tucked under the man's chin, his legs curled up to his chest and his arms were cradled within Shiro's own. He looked at Hunk worriedly before looking down at Lance, "What- what happened to her, Lance?"

Blue locked on his greys and he lost his breath at the pain that swirled within those eyes, "... She drowned." Keith and Pidge gaped, horrified but then Hunk was already calming them, he curled around their bodies, bringing them closer. Shiro stared down at Lance, frowning in concern. He knew they're children but never had he seen Lance so small, so young and so tired. The boy was looking at him but not seeing him.

"It- it was my fault. I was 12 and she was 9 and I insisted we go swimming that day. She didn't want to, she didn't like the beach like I did, she preferred to stay indoors usually. Playing video games or reading a book or something. Gosh-" He laughed at bit, wiping away a tear.

"She was such a nerd... but I dragged her out anyway, I remember telling her that it was going to be great. That the sun and the weather were going to be amazing and when we started swimming the water would be good but I was so stupid, so selfish!I was so ecstatic that I got her to pay attention to me, to play with me that I didn't notice how far away from the shore we gotten or how much time had passed and then the tide began to come back in. She was a weaker swimmer than I was and the waves grew so big so fast, getting rougher and rougher as I tried to help her back but then she started crying, " Lance clapped a hand over his mouth as he remember the vivid image of Ariesa screaming at him. Telling him that she had gotten cramp in her legs and to don't let go of her hand, that whatever happened to please don't let go of her hand, she was so scared. He didn't see the wave until it was too late and then they were being swallowed and tossed as it crashed over them. When Lance resurfaced, Ariesa wasn't holding on to his hand.

Shiro swallowed as he heard a cry come out of Lance's throat, then he was burying his face into Shiro's chest, "I couldn't save her, I couldn't save her! I let her go! And now she's gone, I killed her!" He didn't know what to do, never had he had someone wailing into his chest before and Shiro did the next best thing that he could up with. Uttering smoothing words into Lance's ears, did he rock them back and forth like he would a babe to calm the crying teen, "No, Lance, don't say that. You didn't kill her, you did the best you could, you tried to help her, it's not your fault."

Lance trembled against him and everyone else edged closer, eager and desperate to smooth their weeping friend as they uttered their own words of reassurance.

"You tried, Lance."

"You are no killer, you're good person."

"It's not your fault; you didn't know that the tide was going to change."

"The ocean's unpredictably, Lance. You were one against an entire surf, how do you possibly think that you could've saved her when you could hardly save yourself."

Everyone stilled, all eyes including Lance's turned to Keith. The raven haired teen immediately flushed at the attention before diverting his eyes.

"H-how did you know?" Lance stammered, his voice rough from crying.

"I- didn't, I assumed," Keith voiced, his eyes going steely; "You were what- 12? How did you think you could save another at that age in rough tides? I'm pretty sure you didn't come out unscathed, did you?"

Lance slowly shook his head, "No. No, I didn't." He admitted, his eyes going to Hunk as he reached to hold his hand, "I- I almost died too, I was lucky that my older brother found me. He had gone looking for us when he'd noticed the time of the changing of the tides. He said he found me semi-unconscious on the sandbank and he had rushed me back to the house and from there, to the hospital. I had water in my lungs."

His words lingered off, his eyes become downcast and Keith shrugged, "See? It sucks in all about what happened but the truth is, you couldn't have saved her." Shiro and Hunk gaped at his bluntness and he yelped as Pidge smacked him, pinching at his ears and arms but Lance only stared at him, wide-eyed before shaking his head, a soft, "No." falling from his lips.

Keith sighed before motioning at Shiro, and then their positions were changing again. In the name of protecting Keith, Shiro opted to hold Pidge whilst Hunk leaned into his side, leaving Keith with Lance. First, they sat side by side but then Keith remembered the intimacy that the others had shared with him and flushed faintly. Simply sitting beside Lance didn't feel right and he didn't want to hold him in his lap like Hunk and Shiro had done. He wanted to be close but not too far and Lance was neither a babe nor a child, he saw him as an equal.

Keith made his decision.

Shifting onto his knees, he faced Lance, prompting him to do the same as he laced their fingers together and shifted once more, causing them both to lie on their sides facing each other. He pulled Lance closer, bringing their bodies together and tangling their legs. He looked into Lance's face and the boy stared back, this was the closest he'd ever been to Lance and he could see every feature on Lance's face as the boy's breath fanned his face. He could make out the faint freckles in his skin, the small creases at the sides of his eyes and mouth from smiling too much and the oceans in his eyes. Keith stiffened, squeezing his eyes shut as he steeled himself. He had never done this before, he was never given the chance to but now, he could give his best shot at comforting a friend in need. He opened his eyes.

"You're an idiot," And as those word fell from his mouth, the hope instilled in those blue eyes were vanishing as they looked away, "No, no, no, look at me,” Keith continued, keeping Lance's gaze on him. He needed him to understand, “You are no murderer. You didn't kill your sister, you weren't the one to make her swim all those hours with you until the tide changed and she got cramp, she could have easily turned her back on you and go and play her games. She could have easily left you there on that beach by yourself but no, she didn't. She wanted to play with you, you might have been a pleading little shit about it but she choice to stay didn't she? And I'm not saying that it's her fault either because in reality, it's no one's fault. You didn't know that the tide would change and you didn't know that she would get cramp; you were just in the right place at the wrong time. Plus-"

He gasped as Lance suddenly engulfed him in a hug, successfully cutting off his words to bury his face into the crook of his neck. Keith almost choked at the sensation but quickly calmed at the soft sound of laughter coming from behind him and a murmur of, "I never thought I would see the day they got along." Scowling, he turned his attention from the jackasses behind him to the one crying wet warm tears into his throat and awkwardly, patted his back with his free hand; the other was trapped under their bodies.

"Plus," He continued, murmuring softly into Lance's hair, " You would have died that day if not for your brother, so I'm not saying get over it or forget it but to take it into consideration, death is one thing that will always happen in life and it's your opportunity to learn from it, don't fear it." The sniffles stopped and he knew he had Lance's complete attention, "If you had died that day, Shiro would be on earth becoming a test subject for the Garrison, being interrogated and tested over and over about his time in space and for his arm. Pidge would be lost without ever a hope of finding her family again and I- I probably would have still been kicked out of the Garrison to live in the desert for years to come and Hunk, I don't know. Probably a baker or a bomb ass engineer and you know what, we would have all died or worse, become slaves because then, the Galra would have found us, so,"

He poked Lance in the chest with his free hand causing the boy to grunt and look up at him with wide eyes,

"You better fucking thank your lucky stars because if you had died that day, you wouldn't have saved us. We wouldn't be in space fighting the multitude of evil that is Zarkon. We wouldn't be liberating planets from his rule. We wouldn't be travelling the stars and if you had died that day, we wouldn't be the fucking defenders of the universe and we _would never be Voltron_."

Lance stared him in awe and Keith flushed, looking away as a tiredness seeped into his bones. He had never made a speech like that in his life and he was exhausted. Relaxing his limbs, he allowed himself to slump fully on the floor, his eyes sliding shut as he breathed slow and deep. There was a brief shuffle then a warmth was pressing against his back, Shiro. He didn't have to look, he just knew and that was confirmed when the man whispered into his ear.

"Good job, Keith."

He grinned, his hold on Lance tightening, "Thanks."

His eyes opening in slits, he noted that Pidge and Hunk had also moved, Hunk was behind Lance, effectively spooning him and Pidge was by his head, curled around them as best as she could without being uncomfortable. He grunted as he felt Shiro move behind him and then he was throwing an arm over his side, spooning him too. He smiled; glad to feel warmth like this, to experience something as great as this. He looked down as Lance curled into him, his head resting on Keith's collar bone. He knew that Lance was exhausted and talking was done for now but he knew that the teen's mind was probably a war zone in the moment. He had plenty to think about and Keith was glad to have made his point, and glad to know that his point had gotten through.

He leaned down, his lips brushing Lance's ear and whispered as the boy hummed in question,

"Thank you for existing."

He didn't see Lance's expression but the way he could feel his body go rigid; Keith snorted as exhaustion tugged him. He lay still as all their breathing synced and evened out and he smiled, letting his eyes drift close.

He'd done well, today was a good day.


	2. Bonus: Bonding moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith reveals a part of himself to Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anotha bonding moment!

 Something was moving, Keith didn't know what it was but it was pulling him out of his sleep.

He groaned and reached out; holding onto the thing that he was sure was shifting. It stiffened and once it settled, Keith relaxed but just as he did, it began to shift again. Grunting in annoyance, Keith held on tighter, he needed to keep this source of warmth quiet. Then he was pulling it back to him, against his chest, arms and legs wrapping around it to trap it.

"Keith!" The source of the warmth squeaked, its usually low voice now pitched surprisingly high. Keith frowned, holding on tighter, "Stay."

"But- but-"

"Shaddup and go to shleep..." Keith grumbled, sleep claiming him again.

"...But I have to pee."

Keith groaned and relented, he didn't want to let go but something about the words in that sentence meant something urgent. He grumbled as the warmth left him but upon noticing another source of warmth at his back, he pushed back into it but stopped as a groan sounded from there. He paused for a moment, thinking, brows furrowing. Something went off like a gun-shot through his mind.

His eyes snapped open with a gasp, blurry and unfocused but he could tell that he wasn't alone. This was certainly new. He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the dimness of the room before sitting up slowly. He wasn't in his room but rather on the floor of another, surrounded by his team mates in a makeshift nest and someone had pulled down all the blankets and sheets off of the bed along with a couple pillows. One, he now had smothered to death between his legs and stomach.

He stayed there looking at them all before frowning; where the fuck did his source of warmth go?

Lance!

Oh yeah, that was who he was hugging right? Keith recalled him getting up to go to the bathroom but before that... they were having a talk, a very serious in depth talk but fell asleep due to exhaustion from the training before and the strain of it all. He chuckled to himself as he realized the situation that he was in, this was real. He looked at his team mates sprawled out around him, asleep and comfortable. Vulnerable, no barriers. A sort of giddiness went through him and he shivered, this was nice, this was new, to be awoken surrounded by friends-family.

"What are you smiling at, mullet?"

Keith looked up to see Lance leaning on the bathroom door, looking at him curiously. They stared at each other for a moment, taking each other in. Lance had ridden himself of his jacket, leaving him in his long-sleeved blue and white baseball shirt allowing Keith to see his thin but muscular structure and... He looked tired, the way he slumped against the doorway and the fluffiness of his short hair. Keith was sure he, himself didn't look any better and running a hand through his hair, he winced as he came upon a tangle of knots; he definitely had a serious case of bedhead.

Lance chuckled at that, hiding his mouth behind a hand but Keith didn't mind and before he knew it, the raven haired teen was reaching for Lance, hands outstretched, fingers wiggling and making grabbing motions.

Lanced raised a brow at that, "What?"

Keith scoffed, voice raspy from sleep, "Get your butt back over here, jackass." Fingers still wiggling.

Lance sputtered at the dis but he moved anyway, carefully maneuvering around the sleeping paladins still out cold on his floor and in his blankets, "Shut your face, mullet head." He jeered as he sat down, a smile lingering on his lips. Keith rolled his eyes and reached for Lance again, shifting so that they were lying on their sides, staring at each other again. But this time, Lance was looking at him differently. His eyes weren't empty and dull like before, he was aware. He was awake and aware of what was happening around him and Keith smiled as Lance looked on in concern.

"What's up with you, Keith, you're acting weird." His grin only got wider and then he giggled much to Lance's surprise, "Oh my god, is this what sleep does to you?" He gasped, eyes widening playfully, "I've been missing out big time."

Lance was pretty sure that Keith would smack him for that or give him a shit comment but surprisingly, he did neither.

"I feel good, Lance." He whispered, unable to stop the small laugh and the wobbly grin that accompanied it, "For the first time in a long time I feel good, I feel content, secured, safe and protected. For the second time in my entire life, I feel like I have a family."

Lance could only stare at him in awe. He pressed closer, their foreheads almost butting and their hands found each other, pale and dark fingers entwined. Lance was shook, this was the first time he'd ever heard Keith mention anything about himself, furthermore feelings and he was genuinely interested, his curiosity piquing. “Keith...What was your first time like? Feeling like you had a family?"

Keith stuttered, staring at him, violet eyes blown from sleep. His smile faltered slightly, "It was amazing, it felt like I belonged though it didn't last long enough," He looked away, eyes glowing with a sheen of wetness as his smile trembled, "I don't really remember much from the orphanage or maybe, I don't care enough to remember any of the crap that went down there but I remember my first family. It didn't last, I ran away the second week," He laughed but then a sneer covered his features, "The woman that adopted me thought I was going to be a doll or some shit. A little cute Asian kid that she could parade around and once she realized that I wasn't that, it was back to the orphanage." Keith blinked hard and Lance cupped the side of his face.

An unheard, 'I got you.'

"I was passed around to couple more families until Momo turned up." Lance watched as Keith's face brightened, the soft smile coming back, “Momo Shirogane..." Lance eyes widen and Keith nodded, his smile beaming, “Shiro’s family took me in despite me being the little shit I was, despite the reports on my behaviour and from my previous homes. She looked at me and told me, she wanted me but of course, I didn't fit in right away." He laughed, his hand reaching up to hold Lance's, “Shiro as a kid was suspicious as fuck, he was always smiling, always trying to help and I tried everything in my power to get as far away from him as possible... but he always brought me back, always included me. I think I learnt to trust him when I first ran away, it took a month of planning because Shiro was always on me on like a moth, excited to have a new brother, y'know... He came after me, he spoke to me, he didn't treat me like some misbehaving child. He tried to understand me." Keith released a shaky laugh, "None of the others had ever done that. I ran away from every home I was at and none of them ever came after me, they never tried to understand me."

He sniffed and a couple tears slipped from him. Immediately Lance was there, brushing them away with his thumbs, murmuring soft whispers, "It's okay, Keith. Shiro did a lot for you didn't he."

He nodded, his breath hitching in his chest before he looked up at Lance with watery eyes, " I was only there for a couple of years and then I joined the garrison after Shiro but then Shiro 'died' and I ran away... again."

_No one came to bring me back._

Lance engulfed him with a hug, burying his face in Keith's hair as his eyes shone with unshed tears. They stayed like that for a while until Keith began to squirm in his arms, "What's wrong?"

The boy in question shook his head, "Enough about me, I want you to tell me about your family. Tell me what's it like to be surrounded by people who love you, bonded by blood. Tell me about that."

Lance sputtered, of all things, he wasn't expecting that but he smiled anyway, hugging Keith closer, "It's okay I guess, it has it's pros and it's cons but..." He pulled away, letting himself see Keith's face before lightly touching his cheek again. Keith went still at the touch, his eyes widening as a quiet gasp fell from his lips. This touch was different, heavy. Intense. Warm.

“It feels like this, “He gestured to everyone curled around them, "A lot like this actually. It doesn't matter if the family's big or small, you've already experienced what it feels like to be loved, Keith. It doesn't matter whether it is by blood or not, as long as it feels like this," He pressed a hand to Keith's chest,” The cause of warmth within you, the feeling of belonging then it's alright. You have your own family, buddy, we're your family."

Keith stilled, eyes widening as they slowly welled with tears again, "Really?"

There was shuffle behind him and a hand fell over his side, clutching his smaller one in their own. Another came from above, sliding through his hair and down to his face, caressing his cheek and another came and rested on his shoulder. Lance's hand remained pressed against the center of his chest and there was a vibration in the air, a hum of unison.

Lance leaned forward, knocking his forehead with Keith's, "Really.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Woot! Thank you guys so much for checking out my fic, honestly didn't expect to get this far and if you really liked this one, check out the others! My kink is hitting you right in the feels ;)  
> And if you're up to it, come scream at me on tumblr! https://coolbluestudent.tumblr.com/


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